The Duality of Doubt

Hello Everyone, glad to be able to write to you all again.  

This week I want to share my thoughts on doubts, particularly in spiritual matters.  

This week my mind has been caught up in memory of the several month period in between receiving my mission call to the New York Utica Mission, and being set apart as a full time missionary.  During this time of preparation, both in things mental, physical, and spiritual, I found myself noticing a creeping sense of doubt entering my mind.  I'd be browsing the internet and read some comment made my some person I've never met and and a question would enter into my mind about the things I held so dear.  As soon as I thought I had resolved one doubt another entered my mind.  Again and again this process would repeat itself.  A doubt would creep its way into my mind, I would resolve it as best I could, and then another would barge in and take the old doubt's place.  These doubts grew larger and larger and become more frequent as I came nearer to the time I was to be set apart.  One night I laid awake for hours wondering "Why?  Why now, and why me?"  I'm so close to throwing myself into this work head first and now is the time I get these doubts?  It didn't make any sense to me.  I had doubts about the smallest thing that seemed to almost paralyze my mind for days and I had doubts about controversial topics and about things I had believed since I was a toddler.  

The point in me telling you about my doubts is to show that I have and will continue to have doubts throughout my life.  And the point in me writing today is to testify to you of the duality of doubt.  

Just as with a fork in the road, doubt has a choice with two outcomes.  There are two choices you have the chance to make when the truth you hold dear is put under intense scrutiny or has an apparent flaw.  You can either shut down, or continue progressing.  With the time I have to write this blog post I want to make it clear why the latter choice is always the correct one.  

My talk is focused on the doubting people, but I wish to take a quick aside to talk to those people that feel they have no doubts: You will doubt, let me make that abundantly clear.  There are many men who claim that they have faith unshaken and are able to "doubt not, but be believing" (Mormon 9:27).  Every man and woman will doubt, have questions, and have their faith tried.  It is a part of this mortal life to question and to search for knowledge we don't currently have.  But a crucial part of our lives should be to work out those doubts, or to "work out our own salvation" by studying in the scriptures and pleading to the Lord in sincere and persistent prayer (Mormon 9:27). 

I return to speak to the doubters, which should include everyone now.  In the Section 42 of the Doctrine and Covenants we are told by the Prophet Joseph Smith that: 

"If thou shalt ask, thou shalt receive revelation upon revelation, knowledge upon knowledge, that thou mayest know the mysteries and peaceable things—that which bringeth joy, that which bringeth life eternal."

A doubt is nothing more than a question posed at truth.  I can testify that when you have that questioning mind, it is best to turn to the source of all light and truth; our Heavenly Father.  We are promised by a modern day prophet that if we will ask, we will receive knowledge and understanding so that we may know the mysteries of God so that we can have joy in this life and eternal life in the life to come.  

My first plea to all those who doubt, no matter the size or quantity of the doubts, is to seek greater knowledge.  Search in the scriptures for that knowledge that you lack.  The answers to life's greatest moral and philosophical questions are within and there is no shortage of testimonies concerning that fact.  

My second plea to those who doubt is to not give up on the faith you have.  Do not give up that ground you have fought for, for all faith is earned through trials.  A quote by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland summarizes my feelings on this perfectly:

"In moments of fear or doubt or troubling times, hold the ground you have already won, even if that ground is limited...When problems come and questions arise, do not start your quest for faith by saying how much you do not have,leading as it were with your “unbelief.” That is like trying to stuff a turkey through the beak! Let me be clear on this point: I am not asking you to pretend to faith you do not have. I am asking you to be true to the faith you do have. Sometimes we act as if an honest declaration of doubt is a higher manifestation of moral courage than is an honest declaration of faith. It is not!"  ("Lord, I Believe", April 2013 General Conference)

My third and final plea to those who struggle in this life, which as I've said before includes all of us, is to not consider yourself a failure because you have doubts.  In a speech given by Brad Wilcox in 2011 to BYU students, Brother Wilcox shared this piece of exemplary council to those who feel they 'fall short' of what is expected of them as a member of this church or simply as a human being:

"Too many are giving up on the Church because they are tired of constantly feeling like they are falling short. They have tried in the past, but they always feel like they are just not good enough. They don’t understand grace...When learning the piano, are the only options performing at Carnegie Hall or quitting? No. Growth and development take time. Learning takes time. When we understand grace, we understand that God is long-suffering, that change is a process, and that repentance is a pattern in our lives. When we understand grace, we understand that the blessings of Christ’s Atonement are continuous and His strength is perfect in our weakness."

My testimony of doubts can be well summarized in a quote from a talk given by Truman G. Madsen in 1965 titled "The Commanding Image of Christ":

"I just can't tell you how much I enjoy my existential despair"

Doubts used to be my greatest fear.  I used to think that because I doubted that I was unfit for the Kingdom of God.  I have since come to the realization that doubts have been the cause of the greatest growth in my testimony.  Just as I've come to see how trials and afflictions are a blessing, so too have I come to see how my doubts are great blessings.  Each doubt I've had has caused me to turn to the Lord with greater purpose and with a greater need.

My final advice is this:

Don't quit.  Do not give up because you have doubts.  Do not give up because you feel you have fallen short.  And most of all do not think that you and your doubts are too far gone for the Savior's grace to uplift and help you along your way because "the Son of Man hath descended below them all. Art thou greater than he?"(D&C 122:8)

I love you all, and can't wait to write to you all again next week.  

-Elder Gailey

Be Thou Humble

Hello Everyone once again.  I can't believe how fast this transfer is going by, but I've loved every snowy minute of it.  

I have a brief yet compelling story to tell of how being humbled truly feels.  

During a District Meeting last week, a Sister in my district told us of an experience she had about being humbled.  She didn't tell us what she was humbled in, or how she had been humbled, but only told us that she was humbled because she asked for it.  Personally, being humble is something I would pray for, but I rarely would pray to be humbled.  The thought popped into my head later that night to pray for a humbling experience.  I humbly obeyed that prompting and didn't think much of it. 

Later that week I was out to dinner at a small local diner.  I was preparing to pay for my food, when I heard a soft voice say something that cut me deep.  I could trace the words to the person, so I knew it wasn't just an impression to me alone.  But this quiet sentence carried the Spirit with it, and those words hit me hard and showed to me a huge flaw in myself.  In pondering this experience and how a simple phrase like the one I heard earlier could cut so deeply, I was reminded of 3 Nephi 11:3 which reads:

"and notwithstanding it being a small voice it did pierce them that did hear to the center, insomuch that there was no part of their frame that it did not cause to quake; yea, it did pierce them to the very soul, and did cause their hearts to burn."

That whole night the phrase was stuck in my head, and was bouncing around my skull constantly.  My mind was on that experience throughout the night until I realized that this is something I had prayed for.  I had actively sought to be shown my flaws, and my prayer had been answered.  It wasn't a great feeling at first, I personally felt like I had been blindsided by a bus.  But the more I pondered on the experience and truly looked at myself and my flaws, the more I began to see how I can change for the better.  

While reading Ether 12:27 last week after the humbling experience, I noticed something in the wording at the beginning of the verse.  

"And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness"

It's my hope that each of you will pray to be humbled.  As backwards as it may sound to pray for that, it is something that will open your eyes.  Becoming aware of our own faults and flaws is the only way to set goals to change and to improve.  Without knowing where you stand, you cannot know where you need improvement.  

To improve, I feel that Hymn 130 "Be Thou Humble" give some great insights.  The first verse outlines that the Lord will lead us by giving us answers to our prayers.  When you find your flaws, turn to your Heavenly Father in earnest prayer with a desire to change, and he will lead you.  

"Be thou humble in thy weakness, and the Lord thy God shall lead thee,

Shall lead thee by the hand and give thee answer to thy prayers."

If we pray to be humbled, and we work through the Savior to change and improve.  The Lord will lead us in the things we stand in need of.  If we are humble, we will one day be able to be the person our Father in Heaven sees in us.

I love you all, and hope you have a great week. 

Love, Elder Gailey

Crescendos and Floods

Hello Everyone!  Great to be back online, albeit a little late this week.

I normally email home, including this blog post, on Monday.  Sadly this wasn't the case this week.  We got hit by well over a foot of snow on Sunday night and Monday, so all the libraries were closed and we weren't able to drive to the church to use their computers.  So rather than email yesterday I shoveled snow forever.  But I'm able to email now, so that's a blessing.  

While browsing LDS.org this week looking for a specific talk my eyes flitted to a talk given by Neal A Maxwell back in 1985 during General Conference.  Previous to this I had heard people quote him and had heard things about what his talks were like, but I had never actually listened to one.  A few months back when someone mentioned Neal A. Maxwell they spoke of how his speaking was one of a man with great eloquence and a deep understanding of literature and the gospel.  I had heard him described as a 'Modern-Day Isaiah'.  My curiosity took me to click on the link to his talk, but I had to leave the computer so I merely downloaded the .mp3 on to my USB and told myself I would read it later.  I wound up listening to it yesterday during lunch and I was floored by the man's power in speaking and how deep his knowledge is, both in secular and spiritual matters.  The talk I listened to is titled 'Premortality, a Glorious Reality' from the October 1985 General Conference.  

Right now I want to talk a quick aside to talk a little bit about musical theory.  I want to talk for a moment about what a crescendo is.  A crescendo is a gradual increase from a softer volume to a louder volume.  The crucial part of a crescendo is that it happens over time, it is not an immediate change.  This terminology will be used in tandem with some other ideas later in this post.  

Back to Elder Maxwell's talk.

The talk as a whole is inspirational and is now one of my favorites that I currently have, but I want to speak merely on the first line of the talk:

"In case you hadn't noticed it, in the last days, discipleship is to be lived in crescendo."

This first line, which to me seemed almost out of place in his talk, gives us all a wake up call from the past.  But I wish to compare it with a well known verse from Section 88 of the Doctrine and Covenants:

"Behold, I will hasten my work in its time." (D&C 88:73)

Many of us, my pre-mission self included, often view the 'hastening of the work' as simply increasing missionary work.  We think that the hastening will only involve an increase number of missionaries, areas, and countries that are open to hear the gospel.  There things are consequences of the true hastening that is currently taking place and must continue to take place.  The true hastening in these last days will come when members begin to, as Elder Maxwell tells us, live discipleship in crescendo.  The hastening of the work that the Lord speaks of will begin, as it already has, in the hearts of the individual.  I'm sure that there are many out there who wonder how they can hasten the work without wearing a missionary name tag.  

Since we have already taken advice from a past apostle on the importance of living discipleship in crescendo, let's turn to a modern apostle for a tip on how we can go about doing that.  I would like to turn your attention to a devotional given in August, 2014 by Elder David A. Bednar.  His entire devotional is how we can use the benefits of modern technology to spread the gospel faster and farther than ever before.  I encourage you all to watch his devotional, it is powerful and informative.  

Elder Bednar's Devotional: https://www.lds.org/prophets-and-apostles/unto-all-the-world/to-sweep-the-earth-as-with-a-flood?lang=eng

There are many parts you can pull out of this devotional, and I encourage you all to use social media to the best of your ability to spread the gospel.  In the words of Elder Bednar "May our many small, individual efforts produce a steady rainfall of righteousness and truth that gradually swells a multitude of streams and rivers—and ultimately becomes a flood that sweeps the earth."

Begin to post uplifting messages that have inspired you or touched your hearts.  Your efforts will influence others to see the good in this life.  Share that goodness and touch a life.  As you share your testimony and uplift others, you will begin to feel the desire to be a greater disciple, and you will feel your testimony and the love of your Heavenly Father and Savior grow within you.  I promise you that though the growth will be slow at first it will continue to grow bit by bit like a crescendo until it is unshakable by the forces of the world.  

I love you all, and can't wait to write again next week. 

Love, Elder Gailey

A Spiritual Kick in the Pants

Hello World, I'm glad I'm able to write to you again on this frigid Monday.  

First off I need to clarify a number in my last post.  While there are 1117 instances of the phrase "And it came to pass" in the Book of Mormon, if we remove the 'and' and allow for the use of other words like 'therefore' and 'behold' the number of instances jumps up to 1351.  Just a sidenote as I was playing around the the search function in the Book of Mormon PDF.  

Back to today's blog post:

We have often heard that the Spirit will gently guide us down the path we should walk, helping us avoid the pitfalls of life.  The Spirit is that still, small voice of perfect mildness that whispers to us what we should do.  This week I didn't so much hear a whisper from the Spirit as I heard him shout through a megaphone.  And I wasn't nudged along the path I should walk rather I was grabbed by the shoulders and shoved in the direction.  Or at least that's how it seemed to me.  

I woke up Friday morning dead.  Or at least I felt that way.  Regardless of what illness I had I wasn't exactly fit for missionary work.  My mind was running at half speed and I was generally feeling pretty terrible.  But I begrudgingly got out of bed and got ready for the day.  I proceeded to do my personal and companion studies, and then I was faced with the choice of whether I was going to leave the apartment or not.  This to me was a struggle.  We had lessons to be taught and people to visit, but I felt like if I left the house I would end up being too sick to be useful.  

Trying to be as humble as I could I decided to get on my knees and simply ask "What should I do?"  I trusted that my Father in Heaven would answer my prayers if I simply asked him.  After my short prayer I sat in my chair for a few moments pondering on what should be done.  I received the impression that I should flip open my Book of Mormon.  No page number or scripture entered my mind, simply the thought of opening it.  So although I was a tad skeptical and wondering why the Lord couldn't just put the answer right in my head, I opened the book to a random page towards the middle of the book.  

It just so happened that the page I opened to was page 303, right in the middle of some council Alma the Younger is giving to his son Helaman.  As I glanced at the page a small section grabbed my attention which happened to be Alma 37:33-36.  I began to read and as I did my answer became clear.  The selection of verses is as follows:

33 Preach unto them repentance, and faith on the Lord Jesus Christ; teach them to humble themselves and to be meek and lowly in heart; teach them to withstand every temptation of the devil, with their faith on the Lord Jesus Christ.

 34 Teach them to never be weary of good works, but to be meekand lowly in heart; for such shall find rest to their souls.

 35 O, remember, my son, and learn wisdom in thy youth; yea, learn in thy youth to keep the commandments of God.

 36 Yea, and cry unto God for all thy support; yea, let all thy doings be unto the Lord, and whithersoever thou goest let it be in the Lord; yea, let all thy thoughts be directed unto the Lord; yea,let the affections of thy heart be placed upon the Lord forever.

The first verse probably would have sufficed me if I hadn't been sick.  But at this time I needed the additional 3 verses to really get the shove in the right direction.  I not only needed to know what I should do, which was answered with verse 33, but I also needed to know what to do if I faltered while out of the apartment, which answer is contained in verse 36.  

The Spirit prompted me to open the scriptures, and as I showed faith and followed the prompting I was given my answer an some additional advice on how I was going to accomplish the task at hand.  Because I followed this prompting and the advice from the scriptures I found strength throughout the day so that I could accomplish all the things I had planned.  And as soon as I returned home and finished planning, I fell asleep exhausted.  The Lord knows our needs, and will provide if we are faithful, diligent, and humble.  

I know that the Lord answers prayers.  He has often answered them through simple feelings or impressions.  Other times he uses his scriptures to really get the point across in writing.  I know that as you pray for guidance and assistance, and follow the promptings you receive from the Holy Ghost, you will gain the blessings that will come from diligence and faith.  

I love you all, and hope you have a great week.  

Elder Gailey

"And it Came to Pass"

Hello Everyone, this week I wanted to talk about an experience that I had during a meal appointment.

After finishing the meal my companion and I proceeded to share a short lesson with those who had so kindly fed us.  After sharing our message one of the members posed an odd questions to us:

"What is the most common lesson you learn in the Book of Mormon?"

Immediately thoughts of love, Christ's atonement, hope, charity, diligence, and repentance entered into my mind.  Not knowing what this member was driving at, I figured I would ask bluntly what it was.  The answer that I received was unexpected and one that I would never have thought of.  I was told that the most common lesson learned in the Book of Mormon is contained in the phrase that we read all too commonly, which is:

 "And it came to pass"

I was initially a little dumbfounded at that answer, but the member went on to explain that though we go through sorrow, pain, and affliction, it will all come to pass us eventually. 

Now this phrase had never had meaning beyond me replacing "and it came to pass" with a phrase that is more commonly heard today; "long story short".  I had always brushed off this seemingly unimportant phrase.  But looking at it in a different light really helped me understand mortality a bit better.  All things in this mortal life will come to an end, except those with a spiritual nature.

I was curious as to how true this member's answer was, so I turned to technology to help me understand the answer by way of numbers.  Doing a quick search through the Book of Mormon I found that there are 1117 instances of the exact phrase, "and it came to pass". 

Now I know that numbers aren't everything and whether this phrase was used deliberately to mean what this member proposed or not my decision, but I take it as a welcomed assurance that all of the afflictions we go though will come to an end.  There is a light at the end of the tunnel that we can surely hope for.  

There are many reasons to discuss the gospel with family and friends.  But one of my favorite reasons is so that I can see the scriptures and the doctrine from a separate point of view.  The scriptures may have the same words, but the application and understanding of scriptures is different from person to person.  


My wish for each of you is to try and look at the scriptures a little differently to gain new insights and revelation, and then talk with someone about the passage or point of doctrine and see what their take on it is.  I promise you that as you do, you will begin to see the scriptures in their true power and beauty and that the Holy Ghost will bring even more truths to you because you sought after them.  

I hope that you all have a wonderful week!

Love, Elder Gailey

Fear and Faith

Hello Everyone, hope all is well wherever you are, and I sincerely hope it's warmer there than it is here.  

This week I'd like to talk about two things that we all feel: Fear and Faith.  

We all have fears, and at this chaotic time in the World's history, there are many things to be afraid of.  The Savior knew that there would be many things for us to fear.  In Luke 21:26 the Lord tells us that "Men’s hearts [Will fail] them for fear".  I have a short message because I feel that Russell M. Nelson perfectly describes how faith cancels out fear.  My invitation to you this week is to watch the video below and think of a fear that you have.  It can be physical or spiritual, fear manifests itself in many forms.  After watching the video, think of a way that you can gain faith sufficient to conquer the fears that could creep into your lives.  

Faith cancels out fear.  And since I'm running short on time this week, I leave the rest of my message to this great apostle.  

http://www.mormonchannel.org/video/mormon-messages?v=1289877050001

I love you all, take care and stay faithful, not fearful.  

Love, Elder Gailey

I Can Feel it in My Heart

Happy New Year Everyone!!  

I hope you all had a great time wherever you were and whoever you were with.  I don't have much to write on this week, other than a specific challenges for everyone who reads this.  I'm going to list off something that you can do to kick off 2015 that will uplift you and bring the light and love of Christ into your hearts in a greater measure.  

My challenge is to: Read the Book of Mormon (or Bible) all the way through with a question in mind.  The scriptures take on their full meaning and beauty when they are applied into our lives.  Nephi encourages us in 1 Nephi 19:23 to "liken all scriptures unto us, that it might be for our profit and learning."  

Read these scriptures with a question that you have or a concern or trial you are working through right now.  Write that question/concern/trial down, and as you read in the scriptures you will begin to see answers and applications for that specific question.  The scriptures may tell the same story and convey similar messages of Christ to everybody, but when you read them as if they were written to you, then you will gain the full blessings of the scriptures.  

Be sure to take note of those scriptures that answer that question or apply to your circumstances so that you don't forget them.  Because what worth is it to find an answer if you don't remember it?

I promise that as you prayerfully read in the scriptures with this question in mind, it will be answered and you will be uplifted and grow closer to your Savior.  

This year will bring many great things, I can feel it in my heart.  Take advantage of every good opportunity that comes in your path.  

Much love from Elder Gailey